Man, I’m Lookin’ Like a Woman
In my family, we give top rate eulogies. It’s something we excel at, something we take very seriously. It all started in 2008, when my daughter, Chynna passed away unexpectedly, at 16. My oldest son, 20 at the time, asked if he could speak at her memorial service. He didn’t want to present the “meat” of the eulogy. He just wanted to say some things that were weighing heavily on his heart. So, he requested I support his wish to speak and to choose a song that would play afterward. He wanted his words to be a surprise of sorts. In other words, he didn’t want to give anyone editing rights. Since I wasn’t in a position to use my thinking brain in that moment, I agreed. “Go for it,” I said. It was an incredibly good decision. He told the story of a time when his only sister celebrated a birthday. He didn’t have the money to spend on a gift, or even a card, but he had a great idea. He called his cousin, who was learning to play the guitar, and asked what songs he knew. “I’m working on that song by Poison,” said the cousin. So, they practiced, secretly. After she blew out the birthday candles during a family only weekday birthday party, the kind you have when you’re a teenager and everyone is busy with sports practices here and drama rehearsals there and you are lucky if you all walk through the same room at the same time on a given evening, he sang. After his rendition of “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” ended, a sweet girl clasped her hands in delight and gave both the singing brother and the guitar playing cousin a standing ovation. He told a rapt audience that she proclaimed it to be the best gift ever bestowed on her. Then the actual Poison song played in the church. Cue tears. This led to many speeches my eldest son has given over the years. He’s a sought-after best man due, in part, to his amazing toasts. Dillan Zmolik can entertain.